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Change Gears  
Weekly eZine                               Issue No.736 Dt:15-07-2018

From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange

From the Editor's Desk

 

Dear Friend,

Professionally Link with me in Linkedin -

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See you at the Top - soon!

S. Prakash
CG Editor, See Change's CEO & Corporate Success Coach

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Being a Master Listener
By Sean Mc Carthy


Being an effective listener is one of the most critical skills you can master in order to build meaningful relationships, advance your career, and build a successful business. Many people often believe they are great listeners, primarily because they have been doing it their entire life, but mastering the nuances of listening is about changing how you listen. In this article I will highlight 11 things I have learned and observed throughout my life and career. A masterful listener forms an instant bond with others and that immediate connection is created through genuine and sincere interest in others. It all starts with being a good listener.

With complete and masterful listening, you demonstrate your interest in what is being said and you show your respect for the individual saying it. Listening is a magnetic force that draws people to us. Skillful listeners are confident in themselves and provide value to the conversation through the interaction, not by what they have to say.

Have you ever talked to someone and noticed they were not really listening to you? How did it make you feel? Disrespected? Unimportant? Use that awareness and work hard to make certain that people never feel the same way when they talk with you. Challenge yourself to master the art of listening.

1. Start the conversation.

I am astounded at the people that wait for someone else to strike up a conversation. To be an active listener you must first engage someone in a conversation. Walk up to someone and introduce yourself. Begin the conversation. Another effective way is to insert yourself into a discussion that is already going. Begin by listening.

2. Ask questions.

The easiest way to start a conversation is to ask questions. The easiest was to keep a conversation going is to respond with questions. When you ask people questions during a conversation, you show a sincere interest in the topic. A powerful way is to ask how they FEEL about the subject they have raised. Most people operate at a feeling level, rather than a thinking level, even if they are logical thinkers.

3. Make eye contact.

As simple as this sounds it is an essential step in being a good listener. Make eye contact with people while they are talking, look into their eyes to find the soul of their words. Good eye contact demonstrates genuine interest in the person and the conversation. Please recognize this is not to be intense staring, but rather appropriate eye contact and appropriately looking away at times. Try not to make it appear intentional, but rather sincere.

4. Use open body language.

Using body language and eye contact the right way can really have a positive impact on the speaker. To show you are listening and interested, lean slightly forward in your chair. Be sure your arms are uncrossed. If standing, stand slightly at an angle to the speaker, not facing straight forward. Open body language encourages the trust and openness of the relationship.

5. Be present.

I must admit I have been accused of not being present when my wife is talking even though I am looking into her eyes. At these times my mind is off thinking about something other than the words or ideas coming from her mouth. Be aware of your thoughts. If you find yourself not present for a second or momentarily distracted apologize and ask the speaker to repeat what they said or tell them you do not follow what they are saying.

6. Show NO sign you are ready to respond.

When you are actively listening, don't give any clues that you are preparing to respond. Don't point your finger, open your mouth, take a deep breath or change your facial expression as an indicator that you are ready to respond. When others see you anxiously waiting to respond, they know you are no longer listening because you are now concerned with crafting your response or a rebuttal.


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7. Pause before your response.

During a conversation, wait a few seconds after the person finishes speaking to allow them to finish their thought and get prepared to listen to you. This is a critical skill when talking on the phone, because you cannot see their facial expression. Often times, they are just pausing to gather their thoughts or take a breath and have not completed their entire thought. If you find yourself talking at the same time as someone else is talking, then use that opportunity to remind yourself of the importance of a pause. Many times the most important information from a conversation comes after the pause.

8. Let them go first.

If you start talking at the same time someone else is trying to finish their thought, STOP, apologize with “I'm sorry, please continue” and let them finish before responding. Even if what you have to say is an answer to the question they raised or is important, show them your respect by letting them finish first.

9. Listen for the unstated message.

Are you able to pick up on a person's message that lies beneath their words. By listening intently, you will grasp the topic and move more effectively into the conversation. Most people are looking for encouragement, answers or insights to the subjects they discuss. By listening deeply and connecting with the other person, you will communicate more effectively.

10. Do not change the subject.

When engaged in a conversation, don't change the subject until the discussion is completed. I observe people who do this all the time in small group settings, business networking and social situations. If you change the subject prematurely, you exhibit a lack of interest in the discussion (and the people) and indicate that what you have to say is of higher importance.

11. Do not participate or start a side conversation.

When you are part of a group conversation, never start a side conversation, even if the person talking is not making eye contact with you. If you find yourself bored with the conversation try harder to connect with the speaker. Your boredom is merely a symptom of your disconnection.

At first appearance these tips seem so natural and common place. It would seem that these are easy to implement. But doing it consistently is the hard part. Being a good listener requires an intentional effort and above all, a sincere interest in other people. It is a skill worthy of mastering. Listening is a skill that garners respect and respected people are successful. I am committed to working on being a better listener. Will you commit to showing you care about people by incorporating these eleven tips into your daily routine? On a scale of 1-10, what's your commitment?

 

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Quotes of the Week


"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J. K. Rowling

"Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do." - Unknown

"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." - Richard Bach

"You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile." - Brian Tracy

 

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From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange
Spiritual Centre

Negation

The grains of wheat, each of which has an integral entity of its own, when ground into flour lose their individuality by casting off their coverings. Negation is really nothing but nullifying the energy which had contributed to the formation of the solid form, or the positive phase. Similarly, so long as a man retains his integral state of grossness, his individuality is accountable, like that of a grain of wheat which loses its individuality and becomes finer or subtler only when it is ground up or negatived.



(C) Shri. Kamlesh D. Patel - President, Shri Ram Chandra Mission - http://www.sahajmarg.org

From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange
Story Time - My plane is better

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off. On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D & million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster told the 777 pilot, “Hey Captain, watch this!”

He promptly went into a barrel roll, followed by a steep, unimaginable, vertical climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier, as the F-16 screamed down at impossible G’s before levelling at almost sea level.

The F-16 pilot asked the 777 pilot what he thought of that?

The 777 pilot said, “That was truly impressive, but watch this!”

The 777 chugged along for about 5 minutes at the steady 800km/hour, and then the 777 pilot came back on and said, “What did you think of that?”

Puzzled, the cocky F-16 pilot asked, “What the heck did you do?”

The 777 pilot chuckled and said, *"I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, used the toilet, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll and secured a date for the next 3 nights in a five star hotel paid for by the company"

Moral of the Story:
When you are young, speed and flash may seem like a good thing! When you get mature, comfort and dullness is not such a bad thing!
Make best of the present scenarios and enjoy the life.

From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange

Inspirational Words



"Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." - Orison Swett Marden

"Success is for those that presses on when they see a wall, find ways around a road block and consistently push boundaries and conquer territories against all odds." - Oscar Bimpong

"Kindness is a language which the blind can see and the deaf can hear." - Anon xxxx

"The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets." - Steve Pavlina

"What ARE you? Your body? Your soul? Your name? None of the three. Your Actions!" - Unknown

"Our greatest fear should not be of failure … but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter." - Francis Chan

"Fear... is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday." - Renata Adler

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority and control your mind and your mouth." - African Proverb


From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange
Time to Smile

Life is Like That

Flowers Again

As he was standing in line at the grocery store checkout counter, a friend of John's noticed he was purchasing a dozen roses and a card.

"You in trouble with Jill?" the friend asked John.

"Nope!" was John's reply. "Preventive maintenance."

 



From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange
 
New Initiatives by Seechange

The Round-the-Clock Non Stop Management Conclave

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From the Editor's Desk Quotes of the Week Spiritual Centre Story Time Inspirational Words Time to Smile New Initiatives by Seechange

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